I guess I expected to be a little bit sad when stage crew was over, but not as sad as I was. I don’t cry for sentimental things to often, seeing how often I am exposed to sport banquets with seniors and what not, but for some reason, I was very disappointed that musical was over, and I’m not going to lie, I got a bit choked up. This past week was tough, but it was definitely one of the best times in extracurricular activities I have ever had. The people, both stage crew and the cast themselves, are all very fun to be around, and I had a great time spending almost all of my time with them last week, especially stage crew.
I think the reason for my sadness derives from the fact that in 2 more years (approximately) I will be a Senior. I will be in my last year of high school, and I will be doing all of the things I have come to love for the LAST time in my life as a high school student. That is what is haunting to me. The thought of all of the things I do: cross country, track, swimming, musical, and so on, will be no more, and I will move on with my life. Once you come to this realization, as I believe I did earlier, that is when you understand why people cry at banquets, and where the source of this sadness is coming from. You will know when you come to this conclusion because you will feel a massive hole in your chest and this feeling of emptiness, but at the same time, happiness because of what a great time you had. It is a very changing feeling, and knowing how little time you have left is an awakening sensation.
It is hard to put into words how the sensation of the uniqueness of your life at any given moment feels, the feeling that a moment comes only once and unless you seize it, it will slip through your fingers and into the universe of the missed or neglected opportunities. It is our job to close our fingers and seize the moment, because once time is lost, it would be quite the difficult thing to get it back. (I am being facetiously sarcastic here)
I really do not enjoy being emotional like that. Determining and understanding emotions for me is like capturing a wild horse with a lasso made of dental floss, so anything that I say is usually very aqueous and changing, so it would do you well to realize that my opinion on things also changes.
Well, I think I will attempt to get some sleep tonight, considering I haven’t gotten a good night’s rest in awhile, so remember: carpe diem! Great video -> Dead Poets Society