Might be Going Mad

What a curious feeling, to laugh hysterically for no reason but, even though your mind is almost blank. I’ve been kind of in that sort of stage between being really sad sometimes, but other times finding things completely hilarious. I think it’s a lack of sleep. My motivation has almost bottomed, but I have spurs of inspiration that keep me going. My eyes are becoming professional weight-lifters. My hair is usually dried out, and more often than not I smell like chlorine, and the goggle marks around my eyes make me look like a zombie. It hurts to smile, because my face is so dry from the chlorine, but I think smiling helps, so I try it sometimes. I get almost nothing done at home, because I get home at like 9:20 every night from musical, and I am bogged down with school work.

I just want to be a shepherd, honestly. Live with my sheep in New Zealand and live off the land and sleep with my sheep and protect them and not worry about anything but the glorious landscape… and any predatory animals that may inhabit those lands.

And my application for the Governor’s School for the Sciences wont be in for awhile, so yippee, another thing to worry about.

I’ve been a sad person recently, but I suspect it’s just a swing and not some serious disorder. I don’t think I’m that mad yet.

Also, I discovered I like to stare at the sun with my eyes closed and just feel the heat, and also that feeling right before you go to sleep. Those are pretty chill.

Also, a word of warning. Post in the next month or so might be a bit sparse, with a bit of an edge, due to my overall mood, so just thought I’d warn ya. Stay awesome.


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